Rest and Recovery

One of the goals I have been working on this school year is to find a way to relax. This goal may sound silly, but it stems from my need to feel in control. My goal came from a realization that I was micromanaging my life and as a result my interactions with those whom I love and appreciate the most. Reading through the last seven years from my first blog posts in June 2018 until now, it is also a component of my journey for grace as I work to find balance.

I am working to have a mindset that busy does not equate success and believe as @drcarilineleaf notes “Rest is not a luxury; it’s an act of resistance against a world that equates exhaustion with success.” Yet, I find myself struggling to simply chill on a day off, instead feeling an urgency to catch up on all the things I have on my to do list after a week of work. As a direct result, I miss moments with Emma and Courtney. I need to rest and recover so instead of noticing these lost moments as they pass, I can be fully present.

This spring we took the opportunity to focus on family and relax for a full week with nothing concrete on our tropical vacation agenda, but to simply spend time together. It was the refresh I needed to reset my mindset. While a week on a beach in Mexico isn’t always practical, it reminded me I need to add family focus time daily and let the agenda work itself out as time together is never wasted.

Recalling my childhood, my mom was both present and hard working. As a family business owner, she instilled in me from an early age if there was work to be done, it was up to us to get it done. She took pride in working together and found joy in the simple beauty of our garden whether it be the first daffodils or a trailer-haul of pumpkins. The other night while we were playing the board game Life with Emma, the sun burst through Papa’s window and illuminated a vase of daffodils by Mom’s photo. It caught us in the moment, a snapshot of the memories with her as well as the memories we are making now because of her continuous influence to love and live the way she taught us. Man, I miss her.

This Mother’s Day I wanted to run the Women’s Run, but instead found myself solo in the morning sun for a 14 mile training run. Like most things, it turned out to be exactly where and how I needed to be. Long run hours give me the time I need to be both physically productive and reset mentally. This round of marathon training has been less about distance/speed and more about finding a pace I can sustain to be confident and comfortable in my body. My last few distance races I have had some headache issues so my goal for the #MissoulaMarathon is to relax and enjoy the mileage as the miles we travel will be the same, but what we choose to do with our time on the trail is what matters.